The Ship by Antonia Honeywell (Rant)

From Goodreads:
London burned for three weeks. And then it got worse...

Lalla has grown up sheltered from the chaos amid the ruins of civilization. But things are getting more dangerous outside. People are killing each other for husks of bread, and the police are detaining anyone without an identification card. On her sixteenth birthday, Lalla's father decides it's time to use their escape route--a ship he's built that is only big enough to save five hundred people.

But the utopia her father has created isn't everything it appears. There's more food than anyone can eat, but nothing grows; more clothes than anyone can wear, but no way to mend them; and no-one can tell her where they are going.

I did it. I found the worst book I have ever read in my entire life. 

This is not so much a review as it is a rant. I need to get off my chest just how bad this book is. 

I found this book via a booklist of new dystopian novels. I like dystopia, I like Exodus-esque stories. I like stories about dying Earth and trying to find salvage. What I got was a mish-mash of non-events, annoying, stupid characters and boredom.

The number of times I tried to DNF this thing was too high to count. I literally had to force myself to finish this book. But I am a literary completionist, and I paid money for this book. At least with a book like Nostalgia, there was at least the redeeming quality of the concept and set-up of the plot. But not even a neat, Exodus-meets-Noah's-Arc plot couldn't save this book. The only page that excited me was the last page. I HATED THIS BOOK. It surprised me just how much I found this book to be boring, contrived and just all-around bad.

Not one character was likeable. The main character, Lalla was so dumb, so annoying, so unlikeable. Nothing about her endeared me. She is by far the most unlikeable character I have ever come across. She complained about everything, even when people were doing things to help her. Oh, the pains of being a pampered rich girl, who the ship was made for (legit), even in dystopian futures when the world is LITERALLY DECAYING around her. And the fact that people still tried to make her "love" them? Please. Everyone else on the ship was really annoying as hell. Especially Tom and Michael. I hated those characters so much, too. There was no one that I liked or tolerated. Everyone was so stupid. (Was blind stupidity a requirement for securing a spot on the boat?) I kept hoping that at least one character would do or say something that would make me have a facial expression that was anything but this. 

For a book that was supposed to be filled with excitement and tension, NOTHING HAPPENED. Well, no. It just felt like nothing happened. Literally, big things would be happening, and it was treated as if it was a weather report. Just so mundane and I don't know if it has to do with the narration being Lalla's incessant whining point-of-view. Like, if it had been from anyone else's point of view, or even from a third person point of view, it probably would have been a bit better than it was. But even still, one thing happens near the end of the book with Lalla and Tom, and then mere pages later, Lalla goes and does something COMPLETELY out of left field compared to what just happened, and it's like, why would you even do the first thing? The catalyst that makes Lalla make her decision would have happened with or without the Macguffin, and it would have happened regardless of whether or not the narrative had been anyone else's, which ultimately adds another huge strike against the novel. 

This book was so dull, and so boring, and so unlikeably bad, it took me almost two weeks to finish it. And this is coming from someone that read two books in one day not too recently. It was so alienatingly bad that it took all that I had to get through it. I am not a slow reader, but this book took everything I had to finish. Mostly because I just bought it not too long ago and I didn't want to waste my money. 

Guys, do not read this book. It's the worst book I've ever read. Attempts at philosophical questions fail miserably. It's boring. The characters are the worst I have ever encountered. If I could give this book a negative rating I would, but that wouldn't make mathematical sense, so I'm going to give this book 0.5/5. Avoid it like the plague.